'Falling Apart'

Here I go again
With nothing new to say
But with so much left to be said
I'm still awake to the same fears
Still holding onto the same tears
Slowly falling apart
I wake to black once again
A sight so familiar by now
The sound of your breathing echoes through my head
I reach out into the darkness
Expecting to feel you next to me
But all I find is cold air
And memories slip through my fingers like freezing, Winter rain
I try desperately to hold on to what's left of my sanity
I feel the anchor of pain settle into my stomach
A sensation ever growing
Walls of solitude closing in
Readily able to bury me alive
It's the shame of losing you
And the fear of never holding you again
Thoughts that never leave my head
My new obsession
And with each day that passes
All these feelings continue to grow
Gathering power
Taking me over again and again
And questions fill my head
All of these things left unsaid
As I sink ever further into the fear
The emptiness that I now call home
Without you here to guide me back to the light
I just may be lost in the dark forever
My body convulses and screams until I finally fall asleep
Momentarily relief
But the world continues to turn
And I'll awake to the same fears
And I'll still be holding onto the same tears
Waking to find myself reaching out into the darkness again
Finding nothing but emptiness
Waking to find but one more day just to survive.

© Justin Woodall, February 2010